Opps, I did it again.

"Do you still have the same feelings for me?"
There it is,the million dollar question . Straight from his mouth.He sent me this at 8 something this afternoon. It's 1 in the morning the next day and I still haven't responded. I'm not surprised he is wondering this. I go weeks at a time not talking to him,In fact I've been expecting this. I could sit here and act like I don't know what to do and lie to myself. This truth is I don't want to date , and I don't want to be held down. I never wanted to be . I tired to tell him, to warn him but he didn't listen. I tried once and it didn't last.We went on a double date and he had to barrow money from the other guy to pay for himself. I paid for my ticket and the food. That ,believe it or not isn't my problem. I just feel so incapable to be in love but I don't want to lose him that's why I keep breaking things down and building it back up. He deserves better though. Someone who will give him what he wants, a true relationship. I think it all depends on the answer to this question. This situation sucks, and I catch myself in it alot with guys.(Not saying I sleep around though. I'm actually a virgin. Which i think is because I'm afraid of getting close to people.) I start things off then shut it down before it becomes something. This guy unfortunately for him, has been lead the farthest.urrga Just when I thought I was getting back into the grove of talking to him as much as I use to, he haaaad to ask this question.
If you thought my relationship wasn't cliche teenage girl enough,here's more.