Color me gullible

In my English class we read a poem called "introduction to a poem", in it Billy Collions describes the reason why anything that is good in this world rotes eventually. Then life says heres more.His example is poetry, mine is love. It makes far better sense because everyone has experience some from of the apathetic phantom named love.
So often we find ourselves fearing the eminte end and a possible eternity alone. That we let ourselves become consumed and ultimately defeated . Not by the object of fear but comically just the idea of what we fear. With out experiencing the full and utter complete joy and happiness that life has to offer. However what we do have plenty of all over the world is lust and mis-placed anger.
Now I may know what your thinking.Your thinking what misplaced anger?I'm not angry at all . Well that's a lie.Everyone has misplaced anger. Even you reader, mine for example is deeply embedded in the past. A marrow sucking fear of love because of all the horror stories and reenactment of the tango de Roxanne. It's my outward denial of this fear that leads to an anger. That anger is directed towards whomever tries to love me.Which leads to me feeling sorry for myself. Trying to fix and mend at the last moment.Unfortunately for me every time I try to feel sorry for myself I ruin anything good in my life. I've found over the years that words are just as deadly as cuts carved by poison filled items or a gun. Actions follow words, over action follows that and lack of action supersedes both.

 I thought that falling in love would be easy. Now that I think of it I also use to think a fat man slid down a chimney we didn't have', to deliver presents to my family. People whom hes never known ;for someone Else's birthday. Color me gullible. As I got older I thought that I wasn't as easy to persuaded .
 I guess I think too much.After hacking through the thick and thine rules and exceptions and lies and mixed feeling I've found that instead of love being just blind it's more like love is dumb , blind, and deaf.
I look around and I see all my friends, family,TV shows, movies, whatever all in love,trying to fall or falling in love and I'm just so over it. I'm 18 and I'm already sick and tired of it all. Probably just wasted 2 years of my life trying to hard. Not only that but other people have wasted time trying to hard.
 They've tried the bad boy crap, the nice guy, the artist, but in a alternate twist of fate and romantic comedy cliches no one ever gets the girl. Why? Because the girls is me and I'm love retarded, and like incapable. Which brings me back to Billy Collions. He must've known I would be reading his poem. He must've known that I would feel and relate to the idea of this poem.  I just can't tell if I'm the one tying the poem to the chair and beating it with a hose or if i am the poem.