I don't think i loved him,but i wonder if i could have. Why else am i hurting like i am. Didn't think that he could do that, thought i keep the distance far enough. When the lights are out and the curtains come down, there's no one else to fool but myself. I tired to say to myself heres more and heres more of a reason to run. Run and never turn around.
I just wish that you fought harder. Sometimes i wish you could hear my thoughts, know that I'm missing you, like no other. For the first time in my life i feel lost, but at the same time I'm moving. Being with you made me realize just how much weight a simple word has. What each word can take, when properly phrased. I thought i caged all the self destructive ones up, but i can't fight my nature.
Word seem to evade me more and more increasingly ,getting worse every day. When i close my eyes everything plays out all right, but i find the harsh light far more invading, realty pestering my thoughts. I just wish that you fought harder. Maybe sometime in the future the new woman that i am will be strong enough to be with you. Though right now this feels like I'm hurting i know its just the waiting. Don't know if there will be others , don't have any in mind at the moment, but if there should be just know that you'll always be my first love, and i think of you everyday, missing you , wishing you fought harder.
.
No comments:
Post a Comment